Ebook The Virgin Romance Novelist, by Meghan Quinn
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The Virgin Romance Novelist, by Meghan Quinn
Ebook The Virgin Romance Novelist, by Meghan Quinn
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**WARNING: THE VIRGIN ROMANCE NOVELIST IS A STANDALONE ROMANTIC COMEDY THAT WILL CAUSE YOU TO LAUGH LIKE A HYENA IN PUBLIC. READ IN THE CONFINES OF YOUR OWN HOME. IF YOU ARE ADDICTED TO CLIFFHANGERS, GETTING YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT OF YOUR CHEST AND FEELING LIKE A BULLDOZER JUST PLOWED THROUGH YOUR STOMACH, THEN THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR YOU. IF YOU LIKE PEEING YOUR PANTS AND CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO HARD, THEN PLEASE CONTINUE READING.*** Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch... Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about meat sword? That’s what it is…a meat sword, right, all meaty and sword like, slaying through the inner dungeons of a woman’s dark desires. What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave? God, I have no idea what happens when private parts touch. I’m a virgin trying to write a romance novel and can’t seem to write past a sex scene thanks to my lack of experience. My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen for a while and gain some real life practice through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups. But losing my virginity is proving to be tougher than expected…
- Sales Rank: #270774 in Books
- Published on: 2015-03-10
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .71" w x 5.50" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 312 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
28 of 32 people found the following review helpful.
So disappointed. Spoilers!
By Nikki Jo
Okay heres the reasons I was so disappointed with this book... First off when the main guy is supposed to be in love with the heroine and still presumes to sleep with every chick they meet, that's a huge problem for me. I've had this book for a few weeks and haven't read it because of that exact reason. I couldn't find a review that said it was gonna be like that and every review i did read said it was hilarious so i thought I'd give it a shot. I'm so mad that I have wasted my time on a book like this. Also the heroine has very little respect, he sleeps with and calls his ex-girlfriend the same day he take your virginity all because you had a message from a guy who wanted a second date with you. And then you work up the courage to apologize for which I seriously don't think you should and walk into him in bed with her and her saying there moving in together... come on! Yes it had a couple funny parts, not hilarious though and her being so innocent and stupid about sex in general just got annoying. So maybe it's just me but it got off on the wrong foot for me and then when I think just maybe with just 10% left in the book that they can't screw it up worse and I might just get a HEA. They just mess it up worse than ever. So no thanks as far as any future books by this author as long as they are anything like this.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Best Romantic Comedy I've read in a long time!
By Chattykat
OMG... this book was hysterical. Just laugh out loud funny! There were a few scenes that had me laughing so hard I was crying and snorting. Yep, best romantic comedy I've read in a loooooong time. But, at the same time there was this endearing relationship between two best friends that pulled on my heartstrings... :) Just loved it...
This book is definitely going straight onto my favorites shelf. I want this book on the big screen... it would make a great movie.
I don't want to say anything about the plot because the book is just more fun if you don't know anything going into it but here a few things I learned:
Always read the instructions before using any type of vibrator...
Sumo wrestling will now always make me giggle...
Bananas have multiple instructional uses... especially when paired with giant grapefruits...
It is never wise to over-use baby powder... seriously... go easy on that stuff...
Hairy balls... ummmmm... no, just no!
Flatulence is not always well timed...
It's not a good idea to have too close of a relationship with your pet...
And most of all....
Cats are evil... and smarter than the average human... :) Once you meet Sir Licks a Lot... you will know what I mean!
Buy this book... read it... you won't regret the experience!
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Not for me
By CJ
I bought this because I thought it would be funny, cute and romantic. The beginning was funny, but then it got awkward and many of the scenes just made me cringe.
The fact that Rosie at 23 years old was that naive to sex and a penis was ridiculous. I could believe the fact that she was a virgin because of her upbringing, but the rest…no. There is Google and porn.
I regret buying this book for $3.99. I saw all the amazing reviews, but this humor is not for me.
So many scenes in this book were so uncomfortable. Below are spoilers.
#1 - When Rosie farted on one of her dates while he was giving her oral.
#2 – When she threw up on the one guy while trying to give him oral.
#3 – It got annoying when Rosie continued called her vagina, Virginia. The joke got old.
#4 - Henry going through his all his dates got exhausting. I did not like (even though he was drunk) that he called one of his many dates, Rindy “one of the hottest pieces of a** he had seen in the longest time”. This was supposed to be the time he was supposed have his feelings changing for Rosie. Maybe he was trying to hurt Rosie. However, he could be hurtful.
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